


For The Cloak

by TheGoodMadame



Category: Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Genre: Guy on Guy, Homosexual, M/M, Romance, Ulfric Stormcloa
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-22
Updated: 2019-02-05
Packaged: 2019-02-05 14:28:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 12
Words: 9,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12796446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGoodMadame/pseuds/TheGoodMadame
Summary: Makoto awakens on the cart to his execution in Helgen. He finds himself without his memories about who he was or how he even got to where he is, but as he looks around his eyes land on one special person: Ulfric Stormcloak. And all he knows is that he must save the leader of the rebellion he once fought for.





	1. Chapter 1

I groaned as I slowly rolled onto my back. I didn’t know where I was, what time it was, or who I was for that matter and the only thing I could remember was that I was a Khajiit from Elsweyr. I could hear the sound of a carriage and I was being jostled across the rough hardwood of what I assumed to be the carriage cart. I opened my eyes slowly and looked around me to see several others in chains all sitting in the back of a carriage like I suspected. I laid my bound hands over to my side and pushed myself up with them until I was in a sitting position. To my left and right there were two people conversing about how they didn’t belong here, but that obviously didn’t matter to whoever had us chained like dogs. My best guess would be that it’s the Imperials. God I hated the Imperials. At least I think I did judging by the anger that pooled in my heart at their mere mention. I did notice someone looking at me from the back of the carriage, his face was familiar, but I couldn’t place him. He had a gag around his mouth so he couldn’t speak which left him quietest of our cart. I tried to open my mouth and found it covered similarly.

I couldn’t remember a thing about myself so I didn’t even know what was going on. I figured we were more than likely headed for our execution judging by the conversations around me. I wished I could at least remember what I was in for. I used my knees to help myself stand up on the moving cart and made my way back to the one who was in the back. He was familiar to me and by the way he was looking at me, I was familiar to him only I didn’t really know how.

“I wouldn’t get too close to him lad, Ulfric Stormcloak shouted the high king into bits. Murdered him in cold blood,” The one that used to be on my left said.

I felt something deep inside my brain and flinched as sudden memories flowed into my head. I was a Stormcloak fighter and I was damn good at it too. Maybe the best. I was more than that though, Ulfric and I had been intimate on many occasions; I was the only one he trusted enough to let his guard down around.

“Fuck,” I said quietly to myself.

I shook my head to rid myself of the pain and looked down at the cuffs around my wrists. They were weak and easily breakable. With us not being anywhere near the city breaking out and saving him wouldn’t be too difficult, there was plenty of forest for us to flee into, but that would also mean abandoning my fellow Stormcloak comrades that were in the cart in front of us. I was torn, I knew my comrades would rather me save him and get him to safety, but these were people I spent a large portion of my life with and I didn’t feel alright with just leaving them to be executed. Of course braking out would mean that the guards would be distracted which should make it easier for them to get away as well. I decided to just risk it and save Ulfric.

I looked up at Ulfric with a smirk evident underneath my gag. He nodded to me as if giving me the order and I snapped my chains over my knee. The two I was sitting near looked at me like I was crazy for trying to escape, and maybe I was, but I had to try. I ripped off my own gag and looked towards the front of the carriage.

“You two get down,” I said as I looked down at them.

They both ducked as I opened my mouth, shouted the words that immediately came to mind, and a burst of fire hit the guards in the back. The guards yelled out in pain as they tried putting themselves out but it was too late. My fire breath shout combined with a swift claw to their backs ended their lives quickly. The carriage in front of us had stopped and I saw my fellow comrades looking back to see that I was standing. I nodded at them and they ganged up on the guards in the front. I grabbed Ulfric’s arm and jumped off the carriage with him in tow, he struggled to keep up with me as I ran because I had yet to unchain him. I looked behind me and saw the one that had been sitting to my left following me with several other Stormcloak fighters in tow. I nodded to the unnamed man that followed us but kept running as quickly as I could.

“Makoto slow down!” One of the Stormcloak fighters yelled from somewhere behind me.

“Makoto?” I asked myself aloud as I stopped running.

Ulfric had managed to remove the gag from within his mouth and looked over at me, “That is you, do you not remember?” He asked as he stood in front of me.

“No, I remember nothing. I saw flashbacks to our intimacy and the fact that I was one of your fighters but I remembered nothing else,” I said as I looked up at him.  
The rest of the Stormcloak fighters joined us at our side and glanced at me as I stood next to Ulfric. He placed his hand on my shoulder once he had been freed from his cuffs. I refused to look at him knowing that I couldn’t remember a damn thing about myself.

“When we arrive back at Windhelm I will try to fill you in on what happened and who you are, but for now we must keep moving or we’ll be found by the Imperial scum,” Ulfric said as he looked at me.

“Aye, we must keep moving,” Another Stormcloak said.

“Let’s go then,” I said in response still looking away from Ulfric.

“What about me?” The one that had sat next to me said.

“You come with us, you could prove useful to our cause,” Ulfric said as we started running once more.

I feared what I would find out once we’ve returned to Windhelm but I needed to know. I hated being in the dark about myself I just hoped that whatever I would learn once there I would not hate myself.


	2. Chapter 2

I look around as we enter a frozen palace with a sense of familiarity. I wasn't sure how this place was familiar until Ulfric took his spot on the throne, then I understood. This must be Windhelm, the home of Ulfric and presumably myself. I look around curiously and skim my paw across the wall of the palace. I held my head when memories of my past flashed through my mind. I saw Ulfric telling me that I was nothing but an easy fuck to him and that he’d never be with a cat that wasn’t even from Skyrim. I take a deep breath as I realize that because I wasn’t a Nord, I wasn’t worth loving, I wasn’t worth the time that it took to say three simple words. Galmar looks at me as I look up, the softness in my eyes had disappeared into nothing but hate, catching Galmar and Ulfric by surprise. I turn and head towards my room without another word to them. I wasn’t sure how I knew which room to go to but I did, and once inside my room, I let it out. I sob into my hands as the words Ulfric had spoken in my memory circle my head. 

I hear a soft knock at my door, but I don’t bother answering it, knowing that if it was Ulfric or even Galmar they would just come in anyways. As if on cue my door opened and Ulfric approaches me cautious. He sits beside me on the floor of my room after closing my door and sighs, “I’m sorry Makoto, I can assume what you have remembered based solely on the look you had given me, and I take it that you remember our argument,” he said as he looks over at me. I didn’t respond, I wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of seeing me cry. I was a soldier, not some pathetic kitten that got worked up over romance, yet here I was. Ulfric sighs again, “I didn’t mean what I had told you, you are not a quick fuck as I had so crudely put it. You are important to me, but I don’t want to make our relationship public. I don’t want anyone to know about you,” Ulfric said as he looks over at me. 

This infuriates me, “you don’t want to be embarrassed, that’s it isn’t it? The great soon-to-be high king Ulfric doesn’t want the world of Skyrim to know that he’s gay and doesn’t want a Nord as a lover but a cat! Khajiit can’t help what he is!” I scream at him. I hadn’t used my native dialect in an extended period of time so it was weird to hear it come from my mouth. I turn and head for the door, “when the new recruit leaves for the serpent stone to show his worth, I’m going along. I don’t want to be around you right now because I don’t know how I will react,” I said as I left my room. 

Ulfric tries shouting for me but I ignore him and continue on my way to where the new recruit was waiting. I nod to him when he asks if I’m coming along and we head out immediately. 

He turns to me and seems as though he wants to speak, but can’t figure out how to get it out, I stop walking and look over at him, “I’m Kodiak Bear-Claw,” he says as he looks at me. 

I nod, “I’m Makoto, I don’t have my memories so I couldn’t tell you my last name,” I said as we continue walking. 

He rubs the back of his head and looks over at me with a sheepish glance, “so, you and Ulfric are a thing?” He asks. 

I tense up, “no, at least not anymore. I guess I yelled a bit too loud so the whole palace must know about our relationship,” I said with a sigh. 

He nods apologetically, “unfortunately so, they’re already talking about how to get rid of you since to them it’s not natural and they think you’ve conned your way into his heart,” he says. 

I don’t respond. Hearing that people I have fought side by side with for years suddenly think less of me just because I was in a relationship with Ulfric broke my spirits. I focus on my past hoping that I had somewhere else to flee to since I didn’t want to return to the palace when we finished this mission. I cry in pain as a pulsing pain shoots through my skull and I began remembering more. I sob as I remember the reason Ulfric and I were fighting, I had found him in bed with another and a woman no less. Kodiak gently lays his hand on my shoulder and I look over at him with tears in the corners of my eyes. 

“I remember…” I said with a shaking voice. 

He tilts his head obviously confused by my sudden outburst, “you remember what?” he asks as he looks down at me. 

I wipe my eyes and stand up, ”everything. I remember everything. I’m Makoto The-Weary, I hail from Elsweyr, and I’m a dark brotherhood assassin as well as a soldier for the Stormcloaks. I was recruited when I accepted a contract from Ulfric to kill a rival of his, and our relationship started a few years later,” I said as I look at Kodiak. 

Kodiak stares at me in shock, “did I make you remember all of that?” He asks. 

I nod, “yes, you reminded me of something and it all clicked into place afterward. When we finish this mission and you’re recruited as a stormcloak, I won’t be returning to the palace, I’ll be going to the Dawnstar Sanctuary to help rebuild it. I hope that your time as a stormcloaks proves to be better than mine, and when you do return please inform Ulfric I have died due to an assassination attempt. It’ll be for the better,” I say as I walk ahead of Kodiak. I didn’t ask to fall in love with Ulfric and I didn’t ask to be a Khajiit, some things just tend to happen for a reason and I honestly wish I could forget again because this was something I didn’t want to remember anymore.


	3. Chapter 3

I stare at the frozen wasteland as we descend the mountain upon which the serpent stone lay opposite. I sigh with disdain as I remember the cold, perilous waters we would be crossing to reach the ice wraith my companion must slay. Kodiak was shivering at my side as we walk to the icy shores. He stares in disbelief at what he must cross. He shakes his head and I can see him contemplating whether or not to turn around in fear of the hypothermia he must endure. I sigh and grab his shoulders as he turns to flee, Kodiak looks at me, pleading that I let him go, but I shake my head no.

I turn to face him as I let go of his arm, “we saved you, remember? You owe it to Ulfric to become a Stormcloak,” I say; a slightly bitter edge to Ulfric’s name.

Kodiak gave a sigh of defeat before nodding, “you are right, I must do this. I have to show Ulfric I am no coward who backs down,” he says with a renewed spirit.

I lead the way into the water, the cold instantly nipping at my tender flesh, and dive deep into the water. I held my breath so I wouldn’t cry out as the cold rushes over me, and swim my way to the island which held his target. I watch as he crawls from the freezing water and joins me at my side, the water having already frozen my fur stiff, I stack sticks in a small pile and focus on the sticks.

“Yol!” I shout using the first word of the Fire Breath dragon shout.

Kodiak looks taken aback by the use of the dragon shout, “you’re Dragonborn?” He asks me with surprise.

I nod quietly, “aye, from what I remember of my past the Greybeards had summoned me at one point but I refused. I’ve been learning shouts on my own, mostly by befriending certain dragons, but I’ve killed a couple here and there,” I say with a casual air.

Kodiak grabs my arm as I tend to the fire, “there were rumors of a dragon attacking Helgen, they say he was looking for the upcoming Dragonborn that was there, was that you?” Kodiak asks.

I shake my head, “no, I’ve been discovered for years now, why do you think Ulfric chose to be with me? You keep someone capable of destroying you close by,” I say as I sat by the fire.

Kodiak plops down next to me and looks at the fire, “how did you and Ulfric become, you know, lovers?” He asks, almost uncomfortable with the thought I was Ulfric’s lover.

I sigh, knowing that this question would come up eventually I don’t hesitate to reply, “I’ve known Ulfric since after the elves freed him. I was in Windhelm, as you can expect the locals didn’t treat me with any sort of respect since I didn’t hail from Skyrim as they had, and I was backed into a corner within what is now known as the Grey Quarter, I was terrified, and didn’t know what they wanted from me. I wasn’t aware I was Dragonborn at this time and something inside me just told me to shout, I hadn’t killed any dragons at this time since there weren’t any flying around, but I shouted and threw them all away from me. I think I used the Unrelenting Force shout, Fus Ro Dah, as it is in dragon tongue. Ulfric, who had just gotten home to Windhelm, heard my shout and followed the sound to where he saw me. I was cowering in fear, covered in my own blood, and didn’t know if he was coming to help me or finish me. I thought I was a freak, more so than I already did, and that thought frightened me. Ulfric came to my aid, he treated my wounds and taught me what he knew of the Dragonborn. At first,” I took a break to take a sip of water, “I was only just a stormcloak, but I grew closer to Ulfric the more I proved my loyalty to him. He called me into his bedchambers and surprised me with a kiss, I didn’t respond how you’d think I did, I clawed him across his bare chest. He was the leader. How dare he do this to me? I asked myself before I found him kissing me again, and this time I responded with a kiss of my own. The rest is kind of history,” I say as I tear into a loaf of bread.

Kodiak stares at me in shock as I casually eat my bread, “I’m sorry I brought up those memories but were you treated that badly before?” He asks.

I nod, “if you’re not a Nord then the locals don’t believe you have a place within Skyrim, some don’t even think you should live in Tamriel, although I don’t know where else we would go except to the grave,” I say as I lay back, “you should probably go kill your ice wraith, I’ll be waiting here for your return, please don’t make me have to bail you out,” I say with a sigh.

He nods and stands up nervously, he runs off towards where the wraith was living and I look up to the stars. My goddess Mara, how come you bestow such a curse of love upon me? I never wanted to be in love with men, or a Nord named Ulfric, I wanted to live and prosper in my own way. Why couldn’t you leave me be? I ask as I sit up and shake the snow from my fur. I sigh and look down at my paws, “am I not good enough Ulfric?” I ask myself with tears threatening my eyes. I am a strong Khajiit, Khajiit does not cry and certainly does not give into the desires of the Nords. I scoff as I stand up, I head off away from Kodiak, I threw my shirt into the frozen lake and had hope that he would believe I had committed suicide. I regret not being able to help Kodiak more, but I need to find my own path and forge my own future. I’m sorry Kodiak and Ulfric. This cat is finished with the Stormcloaks. I say as drop my crest into the water before leaving without a trace. Even leaving my belongings behind. It was time to start anew, away from Ulfric, away from the Stormcloaks, and away from Skyrim.


	4. Chapter 4

As I made my way back to the mountain we had crossed to get here I heard an ear-piercing scream come from behind me. As I had hoped Kodiak had thought I killed myself. I couldn't deny that I felt awful making him mourn me when I wasn't even dead but it was necessary, if I left with them just believing I had abandoned the stormcloaks then I'd never get to live in peace. Ulfric would never give up until he found me despite how obvious I had made my hate for him. I made one final glance back where I had abandoned Kodiak before continuing on my path. I kept walking until the piercing shout of the greybeards broke me from my trance. I look up at the sky expecting to see something, anything, but nothing was there. I don't know what I expected but you can never tell with those angry old men. I continue walking until a loud, thunderous roar came from behind me. I turn in time to see a large dragon land just feet from me, of course, I recognized this dragon, he was one I learned from but hadn't killed. 

It breathed fire into the night sky, “Makoto The-Weary,” it spoke to me in dragon tongue. 

I bow slightly, “Odahviing, what does this humble Khajiit owe the pleasure?” I ask as I look up at his massive head. 

He chuckles, “as formal as always, I come on behalf of Alduin, there’s a new Dragonborn that he’s aware will be partnering with Greybeards, and we both know that despite what you tell yourself you are more an ally with the dragons than the humans after how you were and continue to be, treated by them,” he said.

I nod solemnly, “aye, it was you who saved me when I took the plunge from the mountain, and I will never forget that. What does Alduin need?” I ask as I jump up onto his back. 

Odahviing looks back at me as we take off, “Alduin believes the new Dragonborn to be your friend Kodiak,” Odahviing said. I nod as I hold on. 

“And he wants me to end him?” I ask part of me secretly hoping that this would not be the answer I thought it was.

Odahviing chuckles, “no young one, he wants that honor himself, your job is going to be helping Alduin learns the ways of the Dragonborn. It’s been centuries since the last then all of sudden there are now two. It has Alduin thinking that maybe you are meant to be on his side, so he sent me to recruit you,” Odahviing said. 

I nod, it made sense in a way, what better method of taking down a Dragonborn than another Dragonborn? I look down as we enter Alduin’s realm and jump off his back. I approach Alduin carefully and bow my head in respect. Alduin beckons me to rise and I do so without hesitation. I look up at the massive black dragon of legend and in dragon tongue begin to speak. 

“I’ll join your army, Kodiak is a friend that much is true, but I won’t let him ruin the dragons I’ve come to call my friends. I’m more advanced in the dragon tongue than that boy will ever be, please allow me, Makoto The-Weary to become your rider Alduin World-Eater and destroy the Dragonborn together,” I say as I bow once more. 

Alduin chuckles, “I will allow it, but bare in mind that you are merely my servant and have no power above me,” he says as he looks down at me. 

I nod, “I’m aware, I have no intention of overtaking you or harming you in any way, I am grateful you’re granting me such a luxury,” I say as I stand. 

I took my spot next to Alduin and laid my head on his massive foot. I would get some much-needed sleep until the time to attack our next location was made known. I yawn as I wrap my tail around my body and close my eyes. Alduin was speaking to Odahviing as I fell asleep and as I fell into unconsciousness I could hear them exchange plans to attack Windhelm. I knew it should bother me that they were going to attack my home city and that Ulfric was at risk of being killed, but truthfully I just didn’t care anymore. Ulfric ruined me, and ruined any chance of a relationship between the two of us so regardless what happened I could not let myself get involved with him. I would not stand in the dragon’s way and that is a promise not only to myself but for them as well.


	5. Chapter 5

I look down upon the Stormcloaks as they prepare to enter Korvanjund; I sigh as I knew the Jagged Crown would not be inside as they had hoped, and I knew this because I had retrieved it yesterday and it hung attached to my hip. I lay back on the rocks and wait until the fighting commences before I start the next part of my plan. Alduin instructed me to give Ulfric the crown after I observed the Dragonborn coming from the burial tomb. Alduin didn’t want to waste his own time on someone not worthy. When I hear the fighting begin I jump down, cliff by cliff, until I’m on the ground next to Ulfric’s horse. I carefully position the crown, so that it sat upon the horse’s head and pet the horse on the cheek. I smile sadly before heading off into the mountains to meet up with Odahviing and head back to Alduin.

A hand touches my shoulder from behind a tree, I look behind me to see none only than Ulfric himself, looking at me with guilt and regret. I pull my shoulder away from him.

He reaches his hand out again, “Makoto, I knew you weren’t dead…” He said softly.

I shake my head resisting the urge to cry, “of course I wouldn’t be dead, if I was going to die it wouldn’t be by fucking suicide Ulfric,” I said with more hostility than intended, “don’t you dare tell Kodiak that I’m alive, he doesn’t need to know,” I added.

Ulfric pulls me into a hug and I can’t help but break down in his arms. I couldn’t deny that I love Ulfric and it hurt when he said those things to me back at the palace. I didn’t know what to do as I sob into his arms with a feeling of shame. Ulfric rubbed my back as he kissed the top of my head.

He clears his throat before starting, “I didn’t mean to say the things I said to you, I love you, Makoto. I don’t know how to be public about this because you’re not a Nord, you’re a khajiit. My people don’t like the cats,” he said with a hint of conflict.

I push Ulfric away, “I’ll make it easy, tell them I’m dead, you executed me because I won’t be returning to Windhelm at any point in the future. I’m working with the dragons to kill Kodiak and I will kill you if I need to so don’t stand in my way,” I said wiping my tears, “tell them you were seduced by a dirty cat and that everything they heard in the palace wasn’t true, it’ll work out better for you that way,” I said as I walk away.

“Makoto!” He yells at me, but I keep walking until I hear assassins in the woods.

I turn and run back to Ulfric in a panic, it’s true I hate him, I hate him so much, but I wouldn’t let the assassin’s get him. As much as I hate to admit it, I would die for Ulfric on any given day. I hug Ulfric tightly as I feel the first arrow puncture into my back, Ulfric was yelling but I wouldn’t let him go as the last three enter my back miraculously missing my spine. I look up at Ulfric, blood running from the corner of my mouth, and smile softly. I laid my head against his chest as I listened to his panicked shouts.

“Ulfric…. don’t save me…you don’t have to worry now,” I said before labored breaths that brought more blood up from my throat.

“This isn’t what I wanted Makoto! I didn’t want you to die for me!” Ulfric yells.

I release a deep breath as I relax against Ulfric and close my eyes. It was too late for me to hold on any longer.


	6. Chapter 6

I await news as I pace beside Makoto’s bed, Galmar had the door blocked from the other side to ensure we were left alone. I should be celebrating with Makoto, having obtained The Jagged Crown thanks to him, but instead, I’m waiting to hear if he will die or not. This was not how any of this was supposed to go, but I could not face the fact that I was involved with someone who wasn’t a Nord, someone who wasn’t even from Skyrim. I pray to Talos for not only forgiveness but for Makoto to have a warrior’s strength and pull through this injury. We had the best healers that our poor city could afford, but that did not mean he would pull through, especially if an infection were to set in. 

I look up as the doors to the infirmary open and the healer walks in, her face was grim, and I did not anticipate good news. I look over at the sleeping Makoto, hoping that they would be able to do something for him, “anything?” I ask. 

The healer sighs, “I cannot be for certain, but I believe he is refusing to wake up. I’ve healed his wounds, but the mental scars he carries are preventing him from waking or, it could be that he simply does not want to wake up,” she said as she glances at Makoto, “are you sure it is not best to let the cat rest? The others despise him after finding out about the relationship, many are hoping he is dead, but yet you won’t stand up for him. He went from being a well-respected, decorated member of the Stormcloaks to an outcast hated by the ones who once adored him, all because you are a selfish man,” She added. 

I turn to face Makoto and walk up to his bedside, I needed to fix this and make it right, how could I call myself a true king if I do not look out for all my people? I couldn’t. I could not call myself a king if I did not trust my people or rule them, I care about what they think of me, but who would care? Maybe if I revealed that I was in a relationship with a khajiit then maybe they’d become more widely accepted. If not, I could always imprison the people who try attacking Makoto or other khajiits because a true high king should welcome all species, not just nords. 

I made my decision as I stand and leave the infirmary, I was going to inform everyone that he was not a traitor. I was. I summon all my stormcloaks to one area of the palace, I don’t tell them what I need them for, I just tell them to gather. I walk out with my head held high and begin to speak, “brothers, sisters, of the Stormcloak army, as you may know the khajiit known as Makoto is laying in the infirmary right now,” I pause as I hear the disapproval from my soldiers, “I hear sounds of disapproval in the crowd, is it because he’s a khajiit or is it because of what ideas you have formed in your head? You respected him as your brother, yet now you show your true feelings. I’ve gathered all of you here to tell you that Makoto and I, we were in a relationship, he did not seduce me, he did not betray any of you. I came to him and I initiated what I wanted from him. And as a Nord, as well as a high king, you are not supposed to lie to those you trust with your life, nor are you meant to betray those closest to you. If you have problems with this, I will respectfully ask you to remove your stormcloak armor here and now then walk yourself to the dungeons below,” I say as I watch their reactions. 

A few of my long-time soldiers removed their armor and walked to the dungeon, but it was only four out of the hundreds I commanded. I look around at everyone, they held faces of shame as they know they’d done wrong by him. Even I knew that no matter what I did, I wouldn’t be able to make it up to Makoto and our trust, our bond, was shattered. He would never trust me again and that is of my own doing.


	7. Chapter 7

I groan as I open my eyes to the bright lanterns of the infirmary room and look around. Immediately I see Ulfric pacing the infirmary, I sit up in bed with a hiss of pain and he immediately comes to my aide. I shake my head at him as I sit up completely and look around the room, healers and priests were walking around the locations but there were no other patients. Did Ulfric clear this infirmary because I was here? I laugh internally thinking it was a crazy idea that Ulfric would do anything for me. I look over at Ulfric as I clear my thoughts and sigh. 

“Before you say anything Makoto, I need to tell you something, I haven’t been the best king to you or any of the soldiers that I lead. I’ve lied to them all and made them completely hostile towards you, and for that, I sincerely apologize. I do care about you, I do love you, and if you could trust me once more I’d like to prove myself to you,” Ulfric said. 

I didn’t know what to say as I looked at Ulfric with a face of either disgust or shock. I’d been waiting to hear those words, but they sound so meaningless now that I’ve risked my life for him. Nothing he could ever say would make me love him the way I once did, nothing. Those feelings, while not gone, certainly weren’t as strong anymore. I look up at Ulfric as I sigh once more, “you’ve broken my trust and my heart, khajiit is not so sure he wants to hurt again,” I say as I look up at him, “khajiit thinks this one has too many internal struggles,” I say as I slowly stand from the bed. 

My legs shook as the pain overwhelmed my body, but I couldn’t back down now, “me thinks that you’re just a little late,” I say as I look him in the eyes. I couldn’t seem to talk in the perfect English I used before, I couldn’t tell if from the injury or just the flood of emotions, but what I could tell was that right now Ulfric did not need to see me struggle. 

“Then why rescue me?” Ulfric asks as he looks at me. 

I shake my head, “khajiit does not know why he saved you,” I say as I get my armor, “but he does know that this is not his home anymore,” I said as I walk from the infirmary and head to one of the balconies. I shout for Odahviing and await his arrival. I could hear Ulfric trying to convince me to come back inside, but I was not welcome back here anymore. Even if things had changed, I still did not feel warm about this place I once called home.


	8. Chapter 8

I walk down the dark pathway to reach where Alduin awaited my report. He had heard of my injuries, and for once was actually concerned for my wellbeing. Although I admit I do not think he cared if I, personally, lived or died, more so that his one advantage over the rest of the world stayed alive. I was careless in what I had done for Ulfric and I knew now that things could never be the same with him as they once were. Seeing him again and feeling the emotions that I felt when doing so reminded me of that. I harbored too much anger and hatred for the humiliation he caused me in my own home to bother trying to rekindle that flame. I approach Alduin and kneel quickly before standing to face him once more. 

Alduin leaned his head down to look at me, “I see your injuries are healing,” he said. 

I held up my palm with healing magic floating in the center, “healing magic is the warriors best friend Lord Alduin,” I say before dispersing the magic. 

He chuckles, “and Kodiak?” He asks. 

I nod, “he’s as worthy as you suspected, and a natural born fighter. I suspect he will travel down many different and great roads as many others have before him,” I say as I look at the great black dragon in front of me. 

He growls, “do you think he’ll pose a threat to our cause?” He asks me. 

I nod again, “I do, yes,” I say as he roars. 

I watch as Alduin stands infuriated, he didn’t like the idea that anyone could potentially interfere in their plans. In fact, he loathed the idea. I look at the dragons surrounding us, anyone looking at the dragons for the first time would never be able to see the fear they held for Alduin, but I knew better. These dragons feared the legendary World-Eater and as one of the first dragons in existence, they very well should. On the other hand, I held no fear for the legendary dragon, not because I didn’t believe the legends but because I did not fear death itself. Alduin could kill me and I would never bat an eye as I end up wherever it is that I would go, I would bask in the glory of death and the finality of it all. 

Alduin looks down at me as he finishes his display of anger, “Makoto, I want you to return to Skyrim, and upon doing so I desire that you return to Ulfric. I’m aware that it is not as you please, and your relations with the Nords may not be as stable as they once were, but this would allow you to form a bond with Kodiak and eventually assassinate him as he sleeps,” Alduin said. 

Although I did not like the orders, hearing Alduin tell me he understood what I was feeling made it easier for me. He knew I did not want to return to Windhelm, but we both knew that I could easily blend into the army as I once did and that would allow me the upper hand on Kodiak. I knew this was something that I needed to do to ensure that my lord would have his victory in this fight. Of course, there was also the problem of Ulfric, how would he feel when he realizes that I was using him to help the dragons destroy the world? Either way, I knew I had to do this as I turn to leave with Odahviing. Alduin asked for it and so it shall be.


	9. Chapter 9

I open the doors to the Palace of the Kings after a long internal battle with myself. I knew Ulfric would have more to say to me, more attempts at some feeble apology, but I didn’t want to hear any of it. I had to be here for Alduin, although getting close to him once more would allow me more leverage in the end. I smirk as Ulfric looks at me in surprise, my tail swishing behind me as I approach him. I do not bow or greet him in the manner of a stormcloak because I do not view myself as one any longer. Ulfric stands to look me in the eyes, at first, I kept my expression cold, but gradually I gave into my old feelings while keeping my new ones at the forefront of my mind. I would never forget what he had done to me and I know he knew that. Ulfric searched my eyes for any clues as to why I was there, but before he could speak and question me I lean up and kiss him gently. He was quick to return the kiss and carefully wrap his arms around my naked torso. The way he clung to me let me know how much he misses me, but I could also feel the doubt, the pain, coming from him since he knew what he had done. 

When he pulls away for breath he looks at me, “I’m glad you’ve come back, but I must know why? We hurt you,” He said as he holds onto me. 

I shrug, “Khajiit has decided to give Nord another chance,” I say as I look up into his eyes. 

Ulfric looks unsure, knowing that I had a relationship with the dragons, but he seems to accept my response and nods. He holds me close to his body and runs his hand over my fur, “I never thought I’d get to have you back,” he said quietly. 

I ran my nails down the side of his cheek, “I never wanted to come back, but you deserve at least somewhat of a second chance,” I say. Although I’m lying through my teeth, I did mean some of it in the back of my head. I did want to truly give Ulfric a second chance, I wanted to love him, but I was hurt and angry. Ulfric took my hand and took me to his bedroom, I had a feeling in my gut that told me Ulfric knew I was lying, but another part of me hoped that he believed what I told him, so I didn’t have to worry about anything. 

Ulfric slams me up against the door to his room and kept me pinned by my arms. 

He kisses my neck, “tell me the truth, I know you’re not here for me,” Ulfric says. 

I tilt my head back as he kisses up and down, “I’m here to betray Kodiak for the dragons, I’m Alduin’s rider,” I say as I close my eyes in bliss. 

Ulfric bites down on my neck before whispering in my ear, “so the rumors are not false, you were seen with dragons and my eyes had not deceived me,” Ulfric said in my ear.

I shake my head no, “the rumors were correct, and yes I’m Dragonborn it’s true, but I do not wish to fight the dragons,” I say as I moan out in bliss when he bites the right spot.   
Ulfric stopped, as I knew he most likely would, and looks into my eyes, “I wish I could say I was surprised for the reason you have returned, but I am not. You are not a Nord, you are not bound to our customs, and for some reason, you were chosen by the world-eater. I will not expose your true purpose to anyone, but in exchange allow me the chance to prove to you that I’m capable of loving you the correct way,” Ulfric said as he held me in place. 

I nod, “I will, I will give you the chance to make amends. I cannot promise you will be forgiven, but a chance is fair,” I say as I lean up to kiss him lovingly.


	10. Chapter 10

I glance over at Ulfric as he works at his desk, I had doubt bubbling in my chest as I thought about my plans to betray the protectors of Windhelm. I knew Ulfric didn’t deserve what I had planned, but at the same time I couldn’t just forgive him for what he did to me, could I? The more I thought about it the more that I realized that I love Ulfric, regardless of what he had done to me before, he had changed and he wants to be public with me now. That’s more than I ever could’ve asked for. I sit up slowly and go over to where Ulfric was working, he glances up at me and puts his quill down. He opens his arms and I sit in his lap without second guessing myself. This felt natural and it had me doubting I could continue my mission for Alduin. 

Ulfric pets my ears as he looks at me, “what has got you feeling so down, Makoto?” He asks as he pets me. 

I close my eyes and nuzzle my head into his chest, “I’m having doubts about my mission, I had all these plans to come in here and win your heart, then crush you like you did me, but I can’t do it Ulfric. I love you, I have for a very long time and doing this to you feels like a piece of me will be destroyed in the process. If I don’t do it, I’ll bring the wrath of Alduin down on myself and in the process, you will get hurt, and I don’t know if I can do this still,” I say as I dig my claws into his shirt. 

Feeling Ulfric’s fingers rubbing my ears made a small purr come from my throat, Ulfric chuckles lightly and holds me in his lap, “I’m sure we can protect ourselves, Makoto, but I want you to do what feels right to you. If you don’t think you can continue with Alduin, then I’m sure we can think of a plan to get you away from him. And if you want to continue your mission then I won’t stand in your way, I love you, I love you enough to die for you if that would make you happy,” Ulfric said as he pets my ears.

I shoot up into a sitting position and look him in his loving eyes, “no! I don’t ever want you to die for me! Don’t ever say you’ll die for someone as low as me!” I beg as I hold him. In that instance, in my panic at the idea of him dying, I knew I had my answer and judging by the look on his face he knew I did as well. 

I shake as I picture him lying dead at my feet, “I-I want to say that I don’t love you, that this is all just some ploy on my end to gain your trust, and maybe at first it was, but the more I thought about what happened and what you’d done, the more I realized that I didn’t care. You could walk all over me and stab me in the heart, but I’ll always come back to you. You protected me so many times and kept your people from hurting me, despite the fact that you said yourself people who aren’t Nords shouldn’t be in Skyrim, and I’ll never forget that” I say as I look up at him, “I love you Ulfric, more than you could ever imagine,” I say as I lean up and kiss him softly. 

Ulfric didn’t hesitate to return the kiss as he holds me close to his chest when we break for air he looks down into my eyes, “and I love you Makoto, more than you could ever imagine,” he said as he hugs me close, “I couldn’t be sorrier for what I had done and said to you, you didn’t deserve what happened, and I know you said you’ll always forgive me, but I can’t forgive myself quite as easily. The pain on your face, in your eyes, hurt me deeper than any arrow or sword could,” he said as he strokes my back. 

I hug him tightly, “it’s okay, we’re together again, and nothing will change that. Now we have to figure out what to do about Alduin,” I say as I hug him.


	11. Eleven

I silently walk into the home of Alduin as I ponder what I wanted to say to the dragon. Alduin was no fool, that’s what unnerved me about him sending me back to Ulfric. He had to know that I would end up getting back together with him, or at the least, he had to know Ulfric would attempt to stop my plans. I shake my head in confusion as I go into the room where Alduin rests and look up at him, “did you plan for this to happen?” I ask.

Alduin looks down at me as he stands tall, “you reuniting with Ulfric? Fixing all your relationship problems? Of course, I planned this, what use would a distracted cat be to me? You needed to fix those issues before I killed the king,” He said as he looks down at me.

I nod, “well, Kodiak isn’t currently with the Stormcloaks, they haven’t seen him since the day I faked my own death. I’m trying to figure out where he’s at, but so far, I haven’t had any luck. It seems as though the blades may have gotten to him,” I say. He reacts as I expect with a roar of fire into the air.

He looks infuriated, “are they back now too?!” He roars.

I nod, “I’ve heard some rumors that they’re back and gathering members. I suspect that they may have recruited him to their ranks, as they failed to do with me so long ago. Should I gather info on them instead? Ulfric may know something that we do not,” I say I look up at him.

He roars again, “yes, find what information you can. They can stop us where no one else can,” Alduin said. I nod and turn walking out of his room. Something about the way he had been acting bothered me, I’m not sure what it is, but I stay to listen in to him talk to Odavhiing.

“I want you to keep an eye on him, when he’s no longer useful we will be disposing of the Khajiit. Should he turn his back on us, we must not forget that he is Dragonborn as the one known as Kodiak,” Alduin said. I didn’t hear a reply so I could only imagine that Odavhiing bowed in response, “and Odahviing, when we are finished, I want you to drop him from the sky and end him. The Khajiit is only useful while fighting the other Dragonborn,” Alduin said.

I gasp quietly in surprise, I turn and head from the area as quickly as I could with the realization that Alduin planned to betray me. I can’t say that I was surprised to find it out since he is Alduin, but the words stung still. I felt at home with the dragons, comfortable, but now I know this was all a sham. I was made to feel comfortable so I didn’t expect when they turned their backs on me and ended my life. I wait at the cliff edge where Odahviing was going to meet me, I didn’t trust him now knowing that he’s going to be the one who kills me. I look towards the ground when the large dragon joins me at my side and kneels so I can hop on. I do so without saying a single word to the dragon as he takes off, I’d reveal that I knew when the time was right, but that time was not now. I’d keep it to myself until I felt comfortable enough to even tell Ulfric, let alone the dragon that carries me thousands of feet into the air.

“Is something wrong, cat?” He asks as we fly to the woods of Skyrim.

I shake my head, “no, Odahviing, everything is fine,” I say quietly as I go back to thinking. The dragon having dropped his questions.

Everything was not fine. I do not belong anywhere it seems, people still hate me at Windhelm, and now the only place I’ve ever felt comfortable enough to call home has become a cold and harsh world of truth. I was only good enough to be a toy or a tool. I understand that now and while I do not accept it, I am a hated species here. I will have to take what I can get I guess.


	12. Chapter 12

As I’m dropped off in the area close to Windhelm and make my way back to town the thoughts of Alduin circle through my head. I knew that Alduin was an evil dragon, so I’m not sure why the idea of him betraying me surprised me as it did. A part of me must have assumed that Alduin would appreciate having a Dragonborn on his side and not fighting him, but Alduin has an ego so the idea of anything challenging him must bother him to his fiery dragon core. I enter the gates to the city and head straight for him, I didn’t care about the rumors of the child trying to summon the Dark Brotherhood, yes it would be wise that I answer considering I am an assassin for them, but I wasn’t in the mood for death right now. I’ve spent so long trying to find a place that I fit in, and now I discover that even the place I thought of as home was not home.

I ignore the Stormcloaks soldiers as they try to say try, giving them brief nods, but never talking to them. They seem to believe that just because I came home that meant all was forgiven. It was not. Being tossed out like a mere old toy when you’ve been with them, fighting alongside them, for years was a pain that I could not erase. A simple apology would not be enough to erase the heartbreak I felt, but they didn’t seem to understand that. My life before I came to Skyrim was not an easy one, in fact, it left me with many emotional and physical scars, but at the time I knew Skyrim would be better. I was not entirely wrong.

I go into Ulfric’s room, which I have partially claimed as my own as well and sit on the bed staring at the floor. The thoughts that maybe I was not wanted in this world were beginning to surface again as I stare at the faint scars on my wrists, hidden just under my fur. No one knew this one’s past and as much as he would like to open to someone about himself, he would need to be convinced heavily. His past is what made this one become a soldier and fight for the freedom of Skyrim because he himself knows what it’s like to have freedom.

Ulfric clears his throat from somewhere in the room causing me to jump, “Makoto, I was going through some of your belongings to put them in my dresser, and I found something I want to speak to you about,” Ulfric says gently as I hear his steps approaching me.

If he had gone through my things, then I know immediately what he has found. I hear the clink of metal and the rattle of chains as he walks, my head starts spinning and my heart starts racing at the thought of being put back in them. I cannot stop my breath as it quickens out of control and I start to lose consciousness. I feel a pair of warm arms wrap around me and someone calling my name, but my body was out of my control as I was gripped in the hands of panic and anxiousness. I could still feel the cold of the metal around my hands as I hold onto Ulfric, memories that seem so long ago but in all reality were just a few years earlier, I close my eyes and mentally focus on an image of me in Ulfric’s arms happy with my current life. I struggle to break through the panic, my chest was starting to really hurt as I clung to him in a desperate plea to ground myself again.

My body seemed to listen to my pleas as my efforts to ground myself started working. My breathing slowly returned to normal and my chest began to hurt less as I open my eyes. Ulfric was looking down at me with a look of worry for me, he had hidden what he had in his hand figuring that this is what caused my anxiety attack. I take a deep breath as I slowly sit up and look down at my hands ashamed.

Ulfric tilts my head up to look at him, “what happened, my love? Talk to me,” He said as he looks into my teary eyes.

I take another big gulp of air and prepare to tell him the hardest thing he will ever learn about me and afterward I don’t know how he’ll look at me. He may throw me out on the spot, I don’t know, but I wanted to open myself to Ulfric, so now has to be the time.


End file.
